Yes, the personification of laziness [that’s me], finally decided to join a gym. As always, a quick decision. Initially I thought it’s just a spur of enthusiasm... a side effect of watching 'Double Impact' on a late night TV channel. But I am surprised that its 2 months now and I am still dragging myself to the gym every morning at 5.
The process starts with the alarm going off from my LG Optimus mobile, followed by the jolts from my wife, half asleep, still managing to push me out of the bed. This is followed by the knocking on the door phenomenon by my dear father. He continues till I open my door and some how manages to say 'I am awake, thank you'. By now I will be in a position to hold my tooth brush, though brushing seems like an American soldier dragging himself through the swamps of Vietnam
would be still dark and brrrrr cold. Every single day, driving down the road I think how I ever got into this mess...
My gym is on the third floor, the first two floors are used by Raymond’s, and the posters of slim n trim models are a sort of inspiration for the battle ahead. I am not going into the torture that goes on for the next 1 hr, its too brutal to put in words, kids must be reading this. Then you might think what I am coming to...
Well, it’s about the people whom I see out there. Let me classify:
The analyst: for example my friend Ramadas [name not changed], he comes by 6 AM, enters the gym with a long breath both hands held apart like a pigeon before it takes off, wearing a shorts and sleeve less t shirt he comes as if he is conquer half of Europe and may be even Asia. he comes he sees and he sits, that’s it. he looks at all the machines, at the mirror, rub his over sized tummy and then get on to any of the machines. don’t misunderstand when I say gets on to, for he doesn’t do anything. from the chair, he just moves to the machine, that’s all, there also he sits looking around - a perfect analyst.
the preacher: let me take a classic example, Mr. peeyush [name changed as Preshob is stronger than me]. if the instructor says to use 5 kg dumbbells, he will use 10 and tell him the reasons why he took 10 kg and also explain the benefits of taking more weight. though he takes 10 kg, he won’t do more than 3 curls, instead of 20. Another specialty of this category is that they go around giving tips about anything under the sun or even above it. they really can make good politicians.
the pathetic: well, I am not taking any names here, [because Sunil hates mentioning his name in blogs]. Well he is slim, too trim and week. can hardly take 5 kg but tries hard to take 50, fails, and looks around to confirm if anyone has noticed his effort or the scream that followed. Always carries a bottle, with protein powder in it, after reach try he will take a shot of protein, pulls up his sleeves and admires his biceps. Before he leaves the gym, religiously go near roonies poster n stares as if he had seen his long lost love.
The silent storm: hard core body builders, never utter a word. They come and start off without a word to anyone, but yes with a pleasant smile on their way to the weights. They are never seen in tight t shirts or sleeveless, but the bulging muscles and veins are hard to go un noticed. The thing I really admire in this cool lot is that they never give a word of advice unless asked for.
now, having said all these, what I really want to put forward is: I feel like every gym is a miniature form of the society we all live in, the ones with quality seldom tries to show off, the ones with their buckets empty [yes the preacher] run around telling everyone how good they feel they are and tells everyone what to do. Between these is the 'pathetic' who admires the show offs [preachers] and neglect the genius. The analyst never does any harm or even good to anyone, as far as they have a place to sit and observe, they are happy. The moment they are out of a seat, they go into depression.
OK, now this is the evolution that I think usually happens:
The analyst if stressed become 'the pathetic', if praised they evolve as bigger analysts
The silent storms if recognized will become genius, else smiles sarcastically at the stupid society till they die [90%] and after that will be recognized
The preacher evolves into.... can you guess? they evolve as MANAGERS my dear friends... MANAGERS... any disagreement???
